Suck In. Look Funny.

It's Turkey Lurkey Time!

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 09:15:41 -0500

except not real turkey. i bought this gigantic tofurkey “feast” and stace and andy are making a delicious vegetarian feast (it’s a tradition..along with “red rooster” vodka slushies) and every year we pull in some stragglers. this year we got: Leslie, Greg, and Keith! tomorrow’s gonna be so much fun.

Wednesday. 2pm

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 15:05:30 -0500

grady: you remind me of that girl Precious
me: 'cuz i'm a rape victim?
i didn't know i wore that on my face
grady: more of a "separated at birth" kinda thing
grady: when you come down you should come to cassidys one night
i always try to take you there but it never works out
me: who's that? the one from Pace? she lives there now?
grady: no its a bar
Cassidy's Irish Pub
me: oh, for a second i thought you had a friend..but bars are your friends

grady: fyi, i have like 2 friends now
me: in your life?
am i one of them?
grady: ...yes
jk, i have LOTS of friends
me: chillout
grady: if we include barney and annie
me: the dinosaur and the orphan?
grady.mcgee: hahaha, my dogs

does anyone know where i can buy vegetarian jerky? i had it once and it was so good. when i gave...

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 10:52:49 -0500

does anyone know where i can buy vegetarian jerky? i had it once and it was so good. when i gave up meat the two hardest things to give up were beef jerky and brisket. nom nom nom. anyway, i can’t find the veggie stuff even at places that sell that kind of thing.

shortmikeshort: (via darkpizza) My god, someone found a photo...

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 09:53:21 -0500

shortmikeshort:

(via darkpizza)

My god, someone found a photo of my entire childhood.

I would have looked like that if I won Second.

Michael Stipes, I feel ya'

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 11:30:24 -0400

everything hurts today. i’d say i need a vacation, but i’m not sure if that ever really helps anything. maybe I just need to be with my family. like, the whole family. Mom, Dad, Tasha (and Pete and Cameron), Tiffany, and Grandma.

or maybe i just need to get drunk with grady.

or maybe i need to sit at the top of a mountain.

or paint my apartment.

or run.

or lose weight.

or just keep doing what i’m doing.

god, i’m such a drama queen.

(via shortmikeshort) omg. this might beat my Tobias!

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 11:23:36 -0400

(via shortmikeshort)

omg. this might beat my Tobias!

Facebook Invite Wall Posts

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 13:12:04 -0400

So, everyone sends Facebook invites. It’s half the point of Facebook. I’m ok with this. I do it. The thing that stuffs my nose is how many people use the “Write on this Events Wall” as an opportunity to write an excuse as to why they can’t come. It just looks bad for the Event.

If I go to a event page, and maybe I’m undecided, it helps to see if others are going and if they are pumped. Not post after post of “Sorry Lady..going out of town LOL!” If you can’t come, just hit “no”.

You also have the option of RSVPing “no” and then writing on the wall “This show is going to be awesome…I can’t wait to see it..no doubt..word..off the hook!”

Anyway, come to my show on Friday? It’s 9:30pm at the PIT…Best New Artist!

shortmikeshort: digsyfinallyhasa: chrysilla: fandomslut: tvwh...

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 13:00:07 -0400

shortmikeshort:

digsyfinallyhasa:

chrysilla:

fandomslut:

tvwhore:

intuitiveaptitude:tobeaparagraph:amuffinformypuffin:bohemea:suicideblonde:

Lord of the Rings cast on TRL

A pervy hobbit fancier = ME.

I had NO IDEA that the early 2000s looked this much like the late 1990s. Wow.

Just to show you my world, before I recognized Elijah Wood, because of the average males-to-one cute girl ratio, I thought this was some old photo of an old improv team.

Yeah, for a second I thought this was Dawson’s Creek. Aw, remember thise hobbit/elves? They look so young and innocent here. Except Orlando..who’s like “I’m going places dickwads”

stace: playnice: srsly:GENE PARMESAN!!!! GOT ME AGAIN!

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:59:47 -0400

stace:

playnice:

srsly:GENE PARMESAN!!!!

GOT ME AGAIN!

last night i drunkenly moved a couch into my office and slept at work. i’m growing up,...

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 14:40:31 -0400

last night i drunkenly moved a couch into my office and slept at work. i’m growing up, guys.

also, i’ve decided to quit smoking (again). this time it better stick!

i’ve thought about it and i’ve decided: my favorite thing to do is sleep. that’s...

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 10:19:00 -0400

i’ve thought about it and i’ve decided: my favorite thing to do is sleep. that’s something a high school kid would say to be funny. or something a depressed person says to talk. sure sure, i do improv and hang with friends and watch movies and etc. i do these things to fill the time before i can sleep again. i go through the day wondering when my next nap or rest is going to happen. i take a nap almost every day at work (don’t worry, it’s when i’m off). and i just don’t want to get out of bed in the morning, like, ever. not even christmas morning makes me want to get out of bed.

so, yes, if i was a princess i’d be Sleeping Beauty (Aurora). except, the prince waking me up at the end would not be happily ever after. i’t be a real dick move. like, come on Prince Phillip!

You Can't Unfry Things

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 15:19:01 -0400

i’m having one of those days where it seems everyone on the street is looking me over (and i’m not seeing good reactions). i’m either repulsive looking, or really hot. they can’t see my acne in just passing can they? maybe it’s b/c it’s so windy it’s blowing my hide-the-fat dress right up against my beer gut, revealing my true shape (Hen…it’s like the opposite of Pear)

whatever, i’ll keep strutting ‘cuz i know my cold asparagus and diet coke ain’t gonna fail me this week. the beer might, but it doesn’t count after 6pm right? that’s my diet. it’s called the Starve All Day, Drink All Night, and Never Ever Look Down Diet.

you guys, it’s almost october and i still don’t know what i want to be for halloween!...

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 14:32:17 -0400

you guys, it’s almost october and i still don’t know what i want to be for halloween! (or when i grow up) help.

"…and they’re singing mmmbop while poor black people walk by…"

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 10:55:29 -0400

“…and they’re singing mmmbop while poor black people walk by…”

- my observational texts to stace while waiting stand-by at ucb

2012

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 10:51:59 -0400

i’m kind of hoping that the Mayans were right. Don’t read too much into this, just accept it. Though, if it is going to happen, i should start living it up. Why quit smoking? Or drinking? Why should I run anymore? More importantly, what are my last 4 Halloween costumes going to be?! I still have no idea what I’m going to this year.

bossylady*

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 09:46:50 -0400

i wouldn’t say i’ve never had a job that was hard, besides the actual torture of getting up in the morning and not getting paid to eat ice cream. my new job has proven to be a bit more difficult for me. i knew going in i would have a lot to learn, and so far, this has not been a problem. the thing that is troubling me is the delegation…also known as bossing. i’m constantly having to tell people to do things that i would otherwise just like to do myself, but i’m told this is not effective. when i give people tasks i feel like i’m wearing the “sorry i have to do this” face.

with bossing also comes stern talks and emails, and i’m almost positive i have already become some people’s least favorite because of it. i feel like Michael Scott, i just want to be Cool Boss, but this won’t happen. also, i’m almost certain i walked in on some co-workers complaining about me. i had to let it slide, ‘cuz let’s face it, i complained about my bosses and managers at my old jobs. it’s part of the grind.

however, i will take away their talking privileges. mwuhaha.

*nickname shawn is trying to get everyone to call me

Ice Coffee Snob

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 09:46:51 -0400

fine fine, i’m a snob about it. but i’m very picky about my iced coffee. i’ve had delicious iced coffees in other places that aren’t starbucks, but starbucks is the most convenient. it gets so expensive though. i’ve taken to making my own at home. this requires me to double batch brew espresso, half ice it, separate it into various containers, and refridgerate over night. i just don’t have the time to do that every night, so i must go to starbucks most times. which is fine, ‘cuz i have stock in it, so i see it as supporting my investment. ANYway, is it too much to ask to not have grinds? i don’t like to complain when i go there, b/c when i do, i get attitude as though i am out of line. so when i say “can you make sure there are no grinds in there?” don’t snap back “it’s pre-brewed”. ‘cuz what your going ot get is “i know how it’s made, but every morning i get grinds in my coffee, don’t take it from the bottom of the pot, then hold it to the light and see if there are grinds floating”

i’ve never pulled the “look honey, i use to work here for three years” line, but i want to almost everyday. i guess i should just give them a break, ‘cuz no way any barista is ever going to be as good as i was. silly thing to brag about? maybe, but i was the shit on that bar. if i could have received tips like a bartender, i probably never would have left. i had style, speed, and a great attitude.

in other news, Kevin Bacon was at my show last week. looking back on that show, i wish i had better dance moves.

"Speak the speech, I pray you, as I pronounced it to you, trippingly on the tongue. But if you mouth..."

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 09:34:15 -0400

“Speak the speech, I pray you, as I pronounced it to you, trippingly on the tongue. But if you mouth it, as many of our players do, I had as lief the town crier spoke my lines. Nor do not saw the air too much with your hand, thus, by use all gently, for in the very torrent, tempest, and (as I may say) whirlwind of your passion, you must acquire and beget a temperance that may give it smoothness. O, it offends me to the soul to hear a robustious periwig-pated fellow tear a passion to tatters, to very rags, to split the ears of the groundlings, who for the most part are capable of nothing but inexplicable dumb shows and noise. I would have such a fellow whipped for o’erdoing Termagant. It out-herods Herod. Pray you avoid it. Be not too tame neither, but let your own discretion be your tutor. Suit the action to the word, the word to the action, with this special observance, that you o’erstep not the modesty of nature. For anything so overdone is from the purpose of playing, whose end, both at the first and now, was and is, to hold, as ‘twere, the mirror up to nature, to show virtue her own feature, scorn her own image, and the very age and body of the time his form and pressure. Now this overdone, or come tardy off, though it make the unskillful laugh, cannot but make the judicious grieve, the censure of the which one must in your allowance o’erweigh a whole theatre of others. O, there be players that I have seen play, and heard others praise, and that highly (not to speak profanely), that neither having th’ accent of Christians, nor the gait of Christian, pagan, nor man, have so strutted and bellowed that I have thought some of Nature’s journeymen had made men, and not made them well, they imitated humanity so abominably. Reform it altogether! And let those that play your clowns speak no more than is set down for them, for there be of them that will themselves laugh, to set on some quantity of barren spectators to laugh too, though in the mean time some necessary question of the play be then to be considered. That’s villainous and shows a most pitiful ambition in the fool that uses it. Go make you ready.”

- -Hamlet (Scene 2, Act 3) (via shortmikeshort)

remember this Stace?

still here

Thu, 13 Aug 2009 20:39:10 -0400

i’ve missed my tumblr. i hope it missed me. my last post was all whiney, for that i apologize. or i don’t, whatever.

simple studios is finally open (hence why the distance between posts). i’ve been working crazy hours (they’re looney!) and squeezing in all the rest of that crap i do.

i’m stoked, ‘cuz SV! got into three festivals so far. a mini fall tour. we ain’t never gonna die, just try small fry.

ok, that’s all for now. just checking in.

the crying game

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 10:33:15 -0400

remember that girl on Seinfeld that cried for tiny stupid things, but then didn’t cry about her grandma dying? that’s me. it’s ridiculous. i’d say if i had one flaw, it’d be that. it’s so uncontrollable and everytime it happens it makes me cry even more ‘cuz i’m like “why the fuck am i crying?! this is retarded!” i want to be tougher than that. examples of things that have caused me to cry in the past: missing a train, being ignored at a Starbucks, getting 3rd NOT 1st in a talent show. there’s even tinier things that i can’t even remember. i suppose it’s better than being a robot.

“i wanna be a robot!” -jerri blank