Suck In. Look Funny.

Fri Jul 3

poop in a bucket

haven’t tumbled in a awhile, went away to Ohio, so i’ll just update in streamofconsciencethatyouwon’tread:

9 hr drive to Ohio, turns out i’m pretty good at Six Degrees (remember when I was in that show?) yeah, that was my last t.v “gig” and it was 3 years ago, my career’s going great!  rows of motorcycles at the wedding.  an outhouse that reminded me of Shindler’s List.  an older gentleman asked me to dance and kept putting his hand on my butt, i suppose the spirit of things made me not mind so much.  there was a moth in our tent in the morning, really revealed how truly girly i am.  Lake Erie is super beautiful.  i bet Lake Eerie would be scarey.  michael jackson died the same day as farrah fawcett.  still pretty shocked about that.  i think shawn’s family and friends enjoyed me, which is a good thing.  hadn’t done improv in, like, 9 days so my show on wednesday was such a release (like after an HJ…ew, i said it..what you want?!)  saw BWC last night, gave me an anxiety attack in my throat, stomach, and butt.  i’m so crazy nervous about my show next week (but don’t tell anyone).  i have so many friends coming to the city this summer.  i’m excited but also like “gah, i’m tired!”  going to Coney Island tomorrow for the hot dog eating contest. i hate the idea of foodeating contests, but it’s really fun to be at Coney Island for the 4th of July. and now i need to fill out 19 shipping labels..by hand!

Tue Jun 23
poor Perez.  look, his tears and nose blood are splooge! i’m no supporter of violence, but he had it cumming…

poor Perez.  look, his tears and nose blood are splooge!

i’m no supporter of violence, but he had it cumming…

Mon Jun 22
We date, so we got interviewed

Easy to Please Papa

  • me: so what did you guys do today?
  • dad: we were near San Marcos so we hit up the outlet mall pretty hard...yeah, me and your mom each got two new pairs of Crocs.
Thu Jun 18

Another Vodka Stinger...AAHH!

<face in pillow>

<scream>

ok, that helped. but not actually, ‘cuz i just typed it, i didn’t really do it.

on the plus side, i’m dining ala Ladies Who Lunch at Tavern on the Green today.  yeah, i know it doesn’t have as much clout as it use to, but i prefer to think i’m being classy.  i won’t give in to these new places that TONY praises as “hip”.  i’ve never been “hip” and i’ve always kind of thought i was a 65 year old trapped inside this (sexy) 25 year old body.  i remember in “college” when some of my friends use to call me Grandma because they said i dressed like one.  so be it, i loved granny fashion (trust me though, it was just accents and things)  Can’t wait to crack that creme brulee and sip my iced tea.  hell, maybe i’ll get a cocktail.  i’ll drink to that…

Wed Jun 17

Happy Birthday Michael Showalter!

remember for a whole year when my name was “Lionel Prichard” on Myspace (remember myspace?) ?  lame, i know.  but it was all for you man.
Mon Jun 15

gcheating is the new* fatal attraction

also, i’m gonna try to think of a new way of imply “is the new” without having to say that phrase. just like “spoiler alert”, i’m sick of it!

Fri Jun 12

Vlogging

it seems everyone is vlogging.  i feel i should be doing this too b/c i like the way i orate over the way i write.  unfortunately, i don’t have a camera readily available to me all the time.  you know what i do have all the time? my vagina.  so i’m gonna “Vlog”.

Day 1:

it woke up at the same time as me and has no opinions

Thu Jun 11
this brings me back. back to high school when i was super in love with him. there was a guy on the soccer team named Eric that i thought looked a little like Thom (you know, slightly retarded), so of course i had a crush on him (also, hello soccer legs!) i use to visit www.greenplastic.com everyday. i had that site memorized. my AIM quotes were always Johnny Greenwood quotes. my friend, Rob (of pompeii fame, www.pompeiimusic.com) hated them and i&#8217;d argue with him that he was wrong. then i learned to not argue with people if they didn&#8217;t like a band you were passionate about, chances are you hate one of theirs. i made little collages of the band (and Conan O&#8217;Brien). finally got to see RH in concert in 2006. i went by myself (no one else was gonna pay $200 like me). i got drunk and cried like a fool. and some guy behind me kept explaining, like, every song to his girlfriend. i wanted to turn around and scream, &#8220;this is my concert!&#8221; well, it was. stace:

this brings me back. back to high school when i was super in love with him. there was a guy on the soccer team named Eric that i thought looked a little like Thom (you know, slightly retarded), so of course i had a crush on him (also, hello soccer legs!) i use to visit www.greenplastic.com everyday. i had that site memorized. my AIM quotes were always Johnny Greenwood quotes. my friend, Rob (of pompeii fame, www.pompeiimusic.com) hated them and i’d argue with him that he was wrong. then i learned to not argue with people if they didn’t like a band you were passionate about, chances are you hate one of theirs. i made little collages of the band (and Conan O’Brien). finally got to see RH in concert in 2006. i went by myself (no one else was gonna pay $200 like me). i got drunk and cried like a fool. and some guy behind me kept explaining, like, every song to his girlfriend. i wanted to turn around and scream, “this is my concert!” well, it was.

stace:


Wed Jun 10

Dash and Splash has been Slashed

good planning Road Runners.  you’d think if you planned a race that ended with a big ol’ dip in the pool, you would make sure the pool was open for the summer.

also, i thought it was a 4mile race, it’s another 10K! (not nyyrr’s fault, mine.) i don’t know why i’m doing this.  i’m hating all of it.  i guess i’m doing it because i’m still fighting for that excitement i had last year.

i wasn’t born to be a pilot, so i don’t aviate.  i wasn’t born to run, so…